Very Sad. *Warning* Suicide Note From Molestation Victim

[NikkiBrand]

http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agoni...yline=true&s=i

"The Agonizing Last Words Of Bill Zeller"

The fark.com comment string on this story is really long. I agree with one farker who said the note hinted at Bill slipping into psychosis.

If anything, I wanted to say that no acts of kindess are wasted- you never really know where someone is coming from....And that we should all try to reach out when people open up. I feel that Bill had a lot to offer the word & that it was eaten up by mental illness & anguish is one of the many tragedies that the world has had to absorb...

[River]

Huh. That kind of makes me want to kill myself. (Don't worry, I won't).

[Bobbia]

^^^Me too.

I'm thinking how sad it must have been for the girl that he said he really loved; even though he really loved her he couldn't deal with it and she probably always wondered why. Maybe even thought it was her fault. Imagine what she must feel like reading this now after he's killed himself, realizing what he was going through the whole time, probably wishing she had known so she could have tried to help.

[NikkiBrand]

I posted this because it really hit close to home (not me, but someone I know.) I hate to sound arbitrary or trivial but the person in my life seems to be a fifth to a tenth like Bill. It's a lot for me to digest. I also feel the way Bill's family was probably pushed him into despair/despondency- I mean, even the "lowest" among us can find a group of people who feel like rebelling against what they/ we/ "I" feel is fundamental unfairness in life.....he had problems relating to others & really had no one close to turn to...

This is going to be well-discussed on the web, he was a well-known programmer. He even said his job was something that helped him fight the demons.

I really wish he had found someone to talk to....

[kate_wynter]

That was really sad, it's so heartfelt and rational

[headturner]

I got pretty teary when he mentioned how he wanted to be a father and that he would make a good one. That he couldn't because of the suicidal thoughts on his mind.

That he could never achieve true intimacy. I am so sad!!!

I hope he is at peace now.

[LuckyOne]

The comments in this thread are so sad, I'm afraid to read but my condolensces go out to you and your friend. I'm sorry for your sorrows. I'm sorry for the pain.

[PoleDoll]

Oh that really is heartbreaking

[Zolly]

That is very sad. I think suicide is a right, but it's nearly always a tragedy.

[NikkiBrand]

I mentioned this to a friend who was wondering why I was fixated on the letter...I told her about what happened to the guy, and that my theory is some people have brains that are not wired to orchestate the kind of social bonds that might facilitate getting help...Throw in mental illness and the problem becomes a maze with no exit.

I also was reminded about "Hypo-Christians"....The kind of people Bill mentions in his note. Cover-ups and denials in religiously dogmatic families are more common than anyone would like to think...